Sunday, April 14, 2013

Nursing...the end

Well, today might have been the last time I nursed Logan. We'll see how this week goes.
I'm a little let down and disappointed by how non-eventful dropping the wakeup nursing session went. Yesterday I had a bottle all ready for wake-up and he maybe had an ounce of milk. It was sweet, though - after I put him onto the ground, he wandered over to the boppy and did the milk sign. "Sorry buds...bottle today". Today he had the whole bottle (5 ounces) but definitely took his sweet time - and after the first 5 minutes, he was not all about the snuggling and drinking. And when I was changing him first thing, I told him he was getting a bottle, so he started going "baba, baba". 
Tonight was nice. I didn't get any cute milky signs (shucks), but he beelined right for our chair and was trying to climb up into his. When we settled into the second side, he had his hand on my breast and was just completely relaxed. THIS is how I want to remember nursing.
He finished up, we sat there for a few minutes and I put him down. And he proceeded to scream. Sigh - he usually doesn't do that. Wonder if he knows I'm going away. Or, not...
I think of what a rough start it was - cracked, bleeding...shoot pain that made me swear every time he latched on. Frantic pumping when I could to stash milk. Drinking so much mother's milk tea....and all the supplements. Just so we could have enough for daycare.
But the closeness...the snuggling...the milk comas...the wonderfulness of it all. Knowing I was giving Logan something special and awesome.
Random places I nursed: at the zoo on a bench, in the car (a lot), at a winery, in church, on a ferry, in a car on a ferry, out in the open at restaurants (but under cover), on airplanes, at a beer festival, at a baseball game.
 
It was a long road...we'll see how far this journey continues.

2 comments:

  1. It's a bittersweet end but give yourself and Logan a big pat on the back! It certainly wasn't easy - but you fought to give your son what was best for him. Have a big glass of wine and hold those memories close :) New ones are just up ahead.

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    1. Yes, wine with dinner (versus after dinner and after Logan goes to bed) is one of the things I'm looking forward to the most. That and actually being able to use cold medicine when I'm sick!

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